Anaadhi – The Beginningless
Participants Share

22 September, 2010

The approximately 200 ‘Anaadhis’ who participated in the 90-day program with Sadhguru at iii from 3 May – 31 July 2010 will never be the same. Participants put aside family, career, and all other worldly obligations to spend three months focusing solely on their spiritual growth, and experienced the intensity, the work, the commitment, the joy, and the reward of spending 90 days in sadhana under the guidance of Sadhguru. Knowing how blessed they were, participants were doubly awed and humbled by hearing Sadhguru say that he didn’t know when, ever again in his life, he would have 90 days to spend in one place with a group like this. Next month’s Forest Flower includes a full Anaadhi write-up. Here, enjoy the sharings of several participants who emerged, scoured and shining, from the womb of Mahima after ‘The Beginningless.’

My mind cannot really touch Anaadhi no matter how hard it tries. There is not even one single tangible thing that I can pin down and say, “Ahh…yes, THIS was Anaadhi.” There were many, many beautiful and exuberant events, Buddha Purnima and Guru Purnima celebrations, extended daytime sathsangs with Sadhguru, nightly darshans with Sadhguru – too many blessings to be conceived. But all of this was not Anaadhi either.

All along my attitude has been, “Oh, Sadhguru is so fierce,” so I was waiting for the ‘big blast’ and working hard to be a ‘strong yogi’– what foolishness! My experience of Anaadhi was not a big blast. It was not an explosion of ecstasy or a massive dawning of realization. Anaadhi steadily burned and I was coasting on the high energies throughout –it was perhaps the ‘cool flame’ Sadhguru explained we were to become.

Only on the last day, after Sadhguru had left iii, did I catch a glimpse of what he had imparted to us. That day we were instructed to practice our new sadhana for the full day. As I was exiting the hall that evening, there were quite a few participants still completing their practice. As I passed them by one-by-one, I was stunned. Each participant I looked at, without a single exception, had a very refined, bright ‘glow’ about them. It looked as if light was emanating from them and surrounding them like little beacons scattered throughout the hall. “My GOD, they’re all shining!” I thought.

Now, some weeks later, I am realizing that Anaadhi the program may be over, but the potency of the process is very much ‘on’ and its impact on me is still growing, and that is what matters to me now. Everything has become so simple. I am dramatically freer within myself and with others.

Anaadhi is there in the gentler way that I move, walk, and talk. It is there in the more loving way I see and receive other people. It is there in the lighter nature of my thoughts.

Everything is fun. I have always been one to sing in the shower – much to the regret of others. ;) Now I sing in the kitchen, the laundry room – everywhere. I’m full of song, always singing.

It feels that there has been a massive deletion of various hang-ups, attachments, and judgments. I really have no sense of want or need for much of anything. When some desire does arise in my mind, it’s not sticking. I have no sense of fear or aversion to much of anything – the emotion is not there. I have nothing to prove to myself nor to impress or be accepted by anyone else. I am a person without problems – everything is just a situation to enjoy or manage, if necessary. That is all.

I’m floating through life quite effortlessly – taking up whatever is in front of me easily and feeling so carefree about most anything and everything. How is it that life can be this simple? It is absolutely amazing to me.

If I look back five, six years ago, I wonder from where had I gathered all my complexity, drama, complication, anxiety, depression, anger? From where had I collected all that garbage? So unconsciously I had perpetuated and amplified all that nonsense and believed it was real! My mind still searches to complicate things, but there is nothing there for it to grab on to. I see that it is simply grappling to create issues, ideas and opinions, only to sustain itself. The moment I see this, I can let that effort drop away and just be.

- Alison, Anaadhi participant, McMinnville, Tennessee

Imagine spending ninety days of at least 8 hours per day with a Realized and Exceptional Being of non-minor proportions, such as Sadhguru. Those were 8 hours in His physical Presence, but His non-physical, energy was always, always with us, night and day in Mahima at Isha Institute of Inner Sciences in Tennessee. The space was completely open from all sides (due to certain ‘red tape ’ that only happens in countries like the ‘great’ U.S. of A.). Due to the inadvertent and unintentional spatial openness of Mahima, we were subjected to all kinds of animals that permeate the mountain region where we were, including the ever meditative snake, including rattlers, copperheads, also scorpions, and black widow spiders – all of which are quite poisonous and rather painful to the meditator who may be bitten by one, yet none of us ever so much as were near any one of these lovely creatures. “Bring a flashlight with you at all times,” was the spoken words of every evening, yet I, ever the rule breaker, chose not to heed them and yet, I was still protected. “Don’t worry, I won’t let them bite you,” He said laughing comically, clearly amused by our inflated fears. His jovial mirth was partially that of an elated child and partially that of a bemused father. Considering the levity of what we faced, peripherally, not one of us was ever bitten by anything, save the mosquitoes here and there, over the span of a full 90 days, most of which took place during the ‘dog days’ of summer.

Now, I’m not the most shall we say, ‘rule abiding’ meditator. I hate rules and being broken by rules never really crossed my mind, but that summer it was not the annoying rules that broke me, but rather Him. He broke into me. He broke away at my anger and released it onto Himself, for the anger I used to feel is more of a gentle caress, a whisper of Him, deep within me, a seed of Himself that He has planted with the hopes that I won’t play like the idiot that I always have been. But, alas, I am ever the idiot and yet, He recognizes this and still entrusts me with Him. He gave me Himself – His life, nestled within my physical being and my karmic one. And yet, I still did not have a complete understanding of WHAT was given to me, WHAT was buried deep within me until it was considerately and delicately explained to me, this idiot.

The Isha Brahmachari who was guiding us through our Sadhana shared that he was born and raised in Brooklyn, USA. Well, as a Gujarati woman, I was born and raised in Boston and never, ever thought about giving myself to a Guru, let alone this one. I asked him, “Swami, how the heck did you stay away from sex, drugs and rock n’ roll when I didn’t???” He laughed his all-encompassing cackle, and with the bright, ingenuous eyes of a youngster, he said, “In college, I was the first one at the party, dancing the night away and the last one to leave. My drug was and is Him. Sadhguru placed His own life inside of you as He had in me. It is now up to you to nurture it. How would you nurture the living Guru who is now inside of you? Kama, how should you now nurture YOU?”

Aaaahhh, what a question and one I will be attempting to answer for quite some time. THIS was Anaadhi to me and I would not trade it for anything in any lifetime.

- Kama, Anaadhi participant, Detroit, Michigan, USA

I’m overwhelmed
My senses reel
Please allow me to drown
I want nothing of me

You are everything real
I am just a sham
I am choking on this me
Please burn it so I can breathe

My longing for you is deeper than my ignorance
Demolish these walls that separate me from you
Allow me to see you as you are
I am imprisoned by my desire to be free

- Ellen, Isha meditator, Brooklyn,
New York, USA

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